Dear All,

The only thing I can say this week is thank the lord for Kevin McCauley!!!

When everything I touch is going pear shaped for The Grapes, I just look at the bottom of the table, and suddenly I feel better again! And I'm sure that others feel the same. Good on you Colonel!!!

Meanwhile in the topsy turvey world of the DITB Premier League, the lead has changed hands once again like the proverbial hot steaming turd (or should that be potato?).

Brother Johnston's Minus Three FC have bottled it again and now it's the turn of self-professed football guru Walls and Feeder Club MUFC to take over the mantle - and all the pressure that comes with it!

Look what the pressure did to the Blue Monkeys for example!!!

One minute Brother Shields was basically league champion, calling in his bets (albeit in November). Next minute he's hurtling down the table faster than Linford Christie's lunchbox on speed.

Not that I can talk, with my paltry 9 points placing The Grapes in the bottom half of the table for the first time in what must be 12 years!!!

What are the odds on the chairman getting relegated????

As I said, KFC always cheers me up!

So Guru Walls sits proudly at the top of the league, just one point ahead of two time champion Brother McDermott who has come from nowhere (I remember a girl saying that about him before as she wiped herself clean) to make a challenge for the title - and equal The Professor's record of three league crowns!!!

Unbelievably, Brother Crudden's HIT THE BAR squad is in the top five too, but how long can he stick the pace before he gets a nose bleed. Well, if he keeps 'coggin' McD's team, he might actually do okay!!!

The top five is completed by perennial bottler Minus Three FC and the steady former champ Maclacticos.

Yer Ma's Athletic made good ground this week, as did Gazza's Piping Hots, both leapfrogging The Grapes and making it a good week for the newly promoted teams.

Still, it's all very tight with just 54 points separating the top 12 teams.

It looks like it's going to be a real scrap until the end of the season but it remains to be seen who's up for it and who wants to go home crying to mammy!

At the bottom of the table, or the leper colony as it's oft referred to, the week's lowest score of just THREE points puts KFC in extreme danger of experiencing life in the Conference next season (shudder at the thought!) - and the same could be said for the Prince of Darkness whose FIVE point total places him firmly in the relegation zone, some 30 points from safety.

In between, Minibabybelle may be planning another miraculous last-minute escape but, like Torvill and Dean, she'd need to get her skates on (boom boom!).

Maybe she misses her man Andy, but as there's no chance of him ever getting promoted, the only way for them to be together is for her to sacrifice herself and get relegated.

Hold on to that woman McCabe - she's one in a million!!! Not many other women would let themselves be dragged down to your level.

Top scorer of the week is the Conference League's Dirty Dubs XI with a very impressive 42 points, ahead of Gazza's Piping Hots and The Fernandos (yes the Fernandos!!!), both on 37 points.

Staying with the Conference League, there looks to be no stopping Probably the Best who now leads the table by almost 70 points from Bazkinginglory, who is fighting it out for promotion with Barry's Elite XI and the Boys of Summer.

Taking Brother Stevenson out of the equation, there's still a lot to play for in this division for teams in the top half of the table.

Less than 100 points separates second place from 14th position and that's by no means impossible to make up with half the season remaining.

That's probably the best news that The Busted Sofas have heard in years (apart from his wife being pregnant..., no actually, INCLUDING his wife being pregnant!!

The worst team in the league bar none is still the Virgin Surfers and while Real Goldfish are second from bottom, Brother McAvoy can console himself that he still has more points than Brother McCauley (talk about clutching at straws!!).

Chamonix Albion and Cool Dude Zoo are locked together in battle to avoid that third relegation place... so we might as well congratulate Brother McCabe (herewith to be known as McCabe#3)now.

Remember that, depending on how many people want to join the league next season, those relegated from the Conference League, may actually be relegated into a new third division!!!

"Oooooooh," I hear you say, as you hold your handbags to your chins!!! That's wiped the smiles of a few faces!!! Even the Hoofers have just filled their togs!

So my friends (I call you that but in reality if I see you walking down the street I always cross to the other side) that's about it for this week.

I personally am looking forward to a weekend where I hope to have more than two players taking to the pitch, as I'm sure many of you do.

Anyone wanting to avail of Defoe's 'debut' hat-trick for father figure 'Arry can put him into their team with the password QUINN.

And with that hot tip, I leave you to ponder over your selections for Saturday.

Good luck, and until next week...............

READ 'EM AND WEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Michael R.

Diving in the Box FF League Chairman

http://divinginthebox.blogspot.com/

DITB PREMIER LEAGUE

Pos Overall Manager Team Week Pts Tot Pts 1 9713 Mr Conor Walls Feeder club MUFC 24 775 2 10007 Mr John McDermott ABCDE FC 31 774 3 12644 Mr Geoff Johnston Minus Three FC 12 766 4 13798 Dr Owen McNally Maclacticos 16 763 5 22526 Mr Declan Crudden HIT THE BAR 16 745 6 23661 Mr Brian Shields the blue monkeys 10 743 7 27909 Mr Kurt Festraerts Making History 13 736 8 31886 Mr Fra Jones Yer Ma's Athletic 32 730 9 32612 Mr Mark Molloy Harpic Amsterdam 18 729 10 33344 Mr Gary McDonald Gazzas Piping Hots 37 728 10 33344 Mr Paul Brogan Diaby Does Dallas 26 728 12 38612 Mr Michael Rafferty The Grapes of Raff 9 721 13 62464 Mr Matthew Henry Gulladuff F.F 35 694 13 62464 Mr Brendan Devlin Brendys Bruisers 22 694 15 71612 Mr William Cherry Cherry United 18 685 16 87215 Mr Andy Kirby kirbs crawlers 29 670 17 106005 Mr Jules Eilledge True Blue Strikers 15 653 18 139713 Mr Gavin Sheehy Prince of Darkness 5 622 19 171239 Miss Claire Baber MINIBABYBELLEFC 18 589 20 197172 Mr Kevin McCauley KFC Academical 3 553

Your league is placed 1407 out of 10687 with an average score of 765.

DITB Conference League Pos Overall Manager Team Week Pts Tot Pts 1 5237 Mr Mark Stevenson PROBABLY THE BEST 32 794 2 34125 Mr Barry Corr bazkinginglory 11 727 3 35604 Mr Barry Jones Barry's Elite XI 26 725 4 38612 Mr Austin McGinley Boys of Summer 11 721 5 52094 Mr colly mckenna micky hartes x1 21 705 6 62464 Mr Brendan Kelly flexys fairys 13 694 7 82951 Mr Connell McGinley Mighty Con Villa 11 674 8 88307 Mr Brendan Henry HOWRTINGS 18 669 9 98274 Mr Simon Patrick O'Sullivan Sheer Kidology 20 660 9 98274 Mr Alan Stewart Muckamore Uld 36 660 11 108225 Mr Conor Nugent The Well Hungarian 23 651 12 121653 Mr Andrew McCabe Joeys Monsters 18 639 13 131303 Mr Stephen O'Sullivan Mersey Miracles 22 630 14 133391 Mr Conor Donnelly The Busted Sofas 25 628 15 140750 Mr Simon Jenkins Stickshifter FC 17 621 16 141779 Mr paul maynes The fernandos 37 620 17 146935 Mr Gareth Bradley Hoofers UTD 18 615 18 153903 Mr Alan McCabe Dirty Dubs XI 42 608 19 176345 Mr Philip McCabe Chamonix Albion 22 583 19 176345 Mr Stephen O'Sullivan Cool Dude Zoo 14 583 21 195356 Mr conor mc avoy REAL GOLDFISH 25 556 22 213642 Master Eamon Eastwood Virgin Surfers 20 520 Your league is placed 3666 out of 10687 with an average score of 734.